I am a big man yes I am and I have a big gun.

5am
Friday morning
Thursday night
Far from sleep
I'm still up and driving
Can't go home
obviously
So I'll just change direction
Cause they'll soon konw where I live
And I wanna live

Got a full tank and some chips
It was me and a gun
And a man on my back
And I sang "holy holy" as he buttoned down his pants
You can laugh
It's kind of funny things you think
at times like these
Like I haven't seen Barbados
So I must get out of this

Yes I wore a slinky red thing
Does that mean I should spread
For you, your friends your father, Mr. Ed

Me and a gun
and a man
On my back
But I haven't seen Barbados
So I must get out of this
Yes I wore a slinky red thing
Does that mean I should spread
For you, your friends your father, Mr. Ed
And I know what this means
Me and Jesus a few years back
Used to hang and he said
"It's your choice babe just remember
I don't think you'll be back in 3 days time
So you choose well"
Tell me what's right
Is it my right to be on my stomach
of Fred's Seville

Me and a gun
and a man
On my back
But I haven't seen Barbados
So I must get out of this

And do you know Carolina
Where the biscuits are soft and sweet
These things go through you head
When there's a man on your back
And you're pushed flat on your stomach
It's not a classic cadillac

Me and a gun
and a man
On my back
But I haven't seen Barbados
So I must get out of this


As a cosplayer and who enjoys modelling as a hobbie, I really find song lyrics inspiring. If I am researching a character to play I would listen to the song which reminds me of the character and when it comes to a cosplay photoshoot or just for a general modelling shoot I would like to apply song lyrics for ideas because they can represent the harshness of society, depression or happiness and that was the point of my previous post, it as also for inspiration.

Following from my previous post about the connection between Trent and Tori, I will talk about this a little further. Tori's song Me and I gun has to be one of the most memorable and controversial songs I have ever listened to. The lyrics really stand out to me. The song is about Tori's experience when she was raped at the age of 21. She was performing at a bar and a man took an interest in her and offered to give her a lift home. He raped her and planned to gang rape her but she got away. What is interesting is in the song she had a gun but in reality she had a knife.

How am I alive to tell you this tale when he was ready to slice me up? In the song I say it was 'Me and a Gun' but it wasn't a gun. It was a knife he had. And the idea was to take me to his friends and cut me up, and he kept telling me that, for hours.

I was psychologically mutilated that night and that now I'm trying to put the pieces back together again. Through love, not hatred. And through my music. My strength has been to open again, to life, and my victory is the fact that, despite it all, I kept alive my vulnerability.

Tori Amos

The lyrics frighten me as I see abit of myself through these lyrics.

Me and Jesus a few years back
Used to hang and he said
"It's your choice babe just remember
I don't think you'll be back in 3 days time
So you choose well"
Tell me what's right


I sometimes don't know what is right, what is wrong and I haven’t turned my back on religion well ok I rarely go to mass but I believe in guidance.

This really stands out to me.

Yes I wore a slinky red thing
Does that mean I should spread
For you, your friends your father, Mr. Ed

Just because I wear a slinky cosplay, dress moe, dress in Japanese school girl uniforms does that mean I should spread? Everything and anything will attract the wrong attention but should that stop us? I am sorry God, mother, father and siblings but I have come out a lot over the years and acting in this manner is who I am, it is not about attracting the wrong attention but it is the fanboy world and as I get deeper into cosplay I fear I will but I will be careful.xx

She expresses such irony in these lyrics.

And do you know Carolina
Where the biscuits are soft and sweet
These things go through you head
When there's a man on your back
And you're pushed flat on your stomach
It's not a classic cadillac

Not the kinda things to be thinking about when you are pushed flat on your stomach. Lets think about abit of fantasy as it eases the pain.

But I haven't seen Barbados
So I must get out of this

To me I interpret these lyrics to getting to my own ambitions and goals. For years and for a long time I saw myself going no where, no motivation and had no goals. I really didn’t know what I wanted to do in life and now coming to terms with this, these above lyrics motivate me. I haven’t seen Japan so I must get out of this and sort myself out. What I find very haunting about this song is the way Tori sings is. There is no music just her depersonalised voice. She sings this song with such weakness. Listening to this song gives me shivers and it is the type of song I couldn’t listen to in public transport as it is very deep. I can picture her sitting worthless on the coach, drinking whiskey, crying to her self, and thinking of the harsh memories which will never leave her. The song is the depersonalised of the human self. In the end she gives hope that she will get out of this. We all have dark periods but there is hope. I hope to give other people hope through my pictures.