No joy for me, till the day

No joy for me, till the day
i can hold my head up
King in my hand, hung in shame
Swallow me

I have been listening to this song every morning on the bus on my way to college. I know I will get through this. I will get all my essays, dissertation finished and do all the things I couldn't really do because of college work. All freaken year I have spent hours browsing cosplay photos for imspiration and forums when I should be doing my essays. I just had no motivation but now it has hit me and I will get it all done.

It is really strange that this is my last week of college for good. Tomorrow will be my final class. A couple of weeks ago, I was all thinking I can't wait to be finished and get a decent job so I can focus on my cosplays and travel but now I feel kinda sad leaving college and scared.. I was scared of the future, scared I wouldn't get a decent job or it wouldn't work out for me. I think about it now and want to think positive. Realistically as long as I am healthy that is what matters. Health is wealth.

Today was sad as I had to say good bye to one of my college mates who is from Germany. She is going to study in Brussels next year. I think it is wonderful that we stayed friends for three years, as most of the time friends come and go. She was really sad to be leaving Ireland as she felt many Irish people were open minded and accepting towards her which was touching to hear. I have come across many ignorant and narrow minded people here but we get that everywhere. We promised to stay in contact. What was also strange was on Tuesdays two of my old college mates from way back when I went to a PLC college straight after my leaving cert were in a lecture with me. When I saw them we talked for abit but then there were other times that one of them completely ignored me and the other always seemed to be in a rush which could be true. Back at the PLC college these guys were in my course, since our course was small we became a tight group, got on great and became close. Now one seems to be always in a hurry and the other wants nothing to do with me. I know most of the time college mates just come and go but it is kinda weird. I don't know.... I don't care, it doesn't bother me. In summary people are strange. You just move on, get on with the show. Just some food for thought. I would really like to stay in contact with Miriam and it would be a shame if we lost contact giving we have been friends for three years. She is a very open minded person too. I admire her for her out going personality aswell.

I guess I will miss college and it will be really weird after being in college for five years. Time really flies. College has made me a stronger, more educated and a better person. I have met really interesting open minded individuals during my time in college. I will be now in the big bad world. Welll I am hoping to do a masters in either Marketing in the same college or Advertising in DIT so I could have another year of college. The Advertising seems really interesting but I really do hope I get the Marketing as I get to spend another year in DCU. What ever happens, happens. I know life is going to get better as they are many opportunities out there waiting to be discovered.